9 Ways To Protect Yourself In An Abusive Relationship, No. 3 Will Amaze You

There are different meanings of abuse to different individuals, depending on how it is percieved in the individuals mind, culture, home, community, friends and family etc.


However, let’s assume the same definition; Albeit, we don’t want to be narrowly focused on single incidents. We need to look at the wider picture.


Domestic Abuse can be any form of incident (s,) which is controlling , coercive, threatening and violent. This can encompass psychological, physical, sexual, financial and emotional. This list is not limited to the types mentioned.

For the less privileged women going through this dilemma or have been through the predicament only understands too well how domestic abuse can lead to other complex situations.


Whether or not you’re ready to leave your abusive partner, there are things you can do to protect yourself. These safety tips can make the difference between being severely injured, killed, and escaping with your life.

1. Contact the domestic violence/sexual assault program in your area. They can provide emotional support, peer counseling, safe emergency housing, information, and other services while you are in the relationship, as well as if you decide to leave.

2. Build as strong a support system as your partner will allow. Whenever possible, get involved with people and activities outside your home and encourage your children to do so.

3.Be kind to yourself! Develop a positive way of looking at yourself and talking to yourself. Use affirmations to counter the negative comments you get from the abuser. Allow yourself time for doing things you enjoy.

4. Be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Keep the car fueled up and the driver’s door unlocked. Hide a spare car key where you can get it quickly. Have emergency cash, clothing, and important phone numbers and documents stashed in a safe place (at a friend’s house, for example).


5. Practice escaping quickly and safely. Rehearse your escape plan so you know exactly what to do if under attack from your abuser. If you have children, have them practice the escape plan also.

6. Make and memorize a list of emergency contacts. Ask several trusted individuals if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, or help contacting the police. Memorize the numbers of your emergency contacts, and domestic violence hotline.

7. Come up with a code word. Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use to let your children, friends, neighbours, or co-workers know that you’re in danger and the police should be called.

8. Know your abuser’s red flags. Be on alert for signs and clues that your abuser is getting upset and may explode in anger or violence. Come up with several believable reasons you can use to leave the house (both during the day and at night) if you sense trouble brewing.

9. Identify safe areas of the house. Know where to go if your abuser attacks or an argument starts. Avoid small, enclosed spaces without exits (such as closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window.

As females we should always remember that we are not to blamed for been battered or mistreated. Neither are we the cause of our partner’s abusive behavior. We deserve to be treated with respect and have happy life.

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